What had she done wrong?

what had she done wrong?
that question will be haunting her for a while
 till her heart and mind meet at one point
but until this happens,she will keep asking herself that question,
onetime blaming herself for being fool that she believed in his words for too long
 and another telling herself may be one moment he meant what he said,
she was trying to find any excuse for him so as not to see herself being this blind,
she simply forgot that to care is not only to say
 but to act in a way that make her feel safe and well appreciated
 make every wonder inside her take her slowly to a safe shore
 not to be left to rough winds pulling her madly on her face ,that she cant find her balance
 she felt shes drifted away that she can no longer sway
everything collapsing around her
as everything in the dreamy zone is possible and reality have no place there
once her feet touched the ground everything started to talk out loud
she started to see what she was trying hard not to
she started to gather all the lines together
she started to read out loud so her heart and mind would listen together
she started to gather herself and see the ugly truth
The truth that many people would travel miles so as not to face it
The truth  that many would choose to be blind than seeing it
The truth that make actions speak louder than words
she started slowly to look back and realize 
that not everything said is really meant
and if its meant this doesn't mean that it will be done
she started holding to this truth
telling herself that she may meet many , cherish few and believe rare
that not everyone care would do so much to cherish such share
So......
         Here she is, realizing thee

it`s always ourselves we find in the sea

Today my eyes met such quote and immediately captured my mind and soul
as i do believe in that so much
no matter how lost I can be
the sea always gather the aches of"me"
and repair me slowly with every whisper he whispers to me
there,only there i feel im taken care of
there,only there i feel my silent shout is heard
there,only there my heart can scream
there,only there my eyes can drop all the tears that has been hidden deep inside me
there,only there i feel im loved
there,only there i feel im not alone
the sea has always been there for me for real
at such life you meet who keep saying we are there for you,we are around while the fact is
they aren`t really around,can`t really feel you nor be there for you
they only spread their words but not their actions
cos simply they dont know you like sea does
they dont know how they can act towards you
how can they try to cure you and be really around
if you count the words and real actions in your life
you would have dozens of words and very few actions
thats life,you meet many and cherish few
so its better to stop blaming people cos they won`t even understand the blame
you simply blame yourself for expecting at the first place
this is life,its not your fairy-tale and if you wanna live your fairy-tale simply don`t share
you were wrong letting people listening to some of your melodies
as they won`t understand its meaning,so play it but for noone but yourself
don`t do the effort for explaining cos they won`t understand and your soul will be the only one complaining
whenever you feel lonely ,just drop everything and run towards the sea
and you gonna feel complete,there you may sway with every melody of your heart beat
my beloved sea,thanks for being there for me

searching for someone called "me"

strange feeling controlling me when i came back to my place in here

actually not just one feeling,many and many

in here i feel myself,i feel the things i miss at real life

in here i feel i can see the real" me"

as in real life i can see only my mirage

my"me"used to be inisde "me"&with "me"

i somehow lost her at real life

don`t know how i let this happened

but it just happened

in real life,im feeling lost,lonely,sad,down,choked

cant even listen to myself

may be cos of the many echos around " me"

may be iam crazy,cos both are the same"me"

but real life was so hard

that it separated them apart

back to writing is a way to get her back to" me"

its all trials may be it would work,may be not

but in all cases its" me" with "me"

so the trial wont include others

so it worth the try,cos its " me" im searching for in here

you&I

sitting all alone,thinking killing me&silence drifting me far away from everthing i know&everything inside, sometimes life becomes an evil monster that destroys every plant that you have been planting for years,all i wish now is to still be having the seeds,sometimes you feel you standing alone on your own, i used to get afraid of such moment till i knew its the best thing to do,go far away and be with yourself, cos any silent shout is never replied nor heard i realized that being abandoned is much better than being surrounded by many and still you feel lonely and they never meet your expectations, at such life to live happily is to expect none , cos when ppl dont meet your expectations you feel so bad, really bad,i wish i didnt have to stand alone but life taught me that i have to, nomatter how im dying deep inside,nomatter how my soul is bleeding i have to,im the victim and im the healer,thats how it shall be, i never thought that oneday i would write that way but i have no other way i miss my dreamy moments i miss myself i miss my soul when it sway i miss everything that has been planted deep in my way when i didnt plan for a kidnapping moment, i found my feet taking me to my beloved sea at one of the places that have been captured in a pic that i still carry,i found mysoul listening to an old song saying you&i,like a ship forever sailling,thats you&me my beloved sea,i miss you&i miss me

صورة / a picture

this was the first time for me to write in my own language,never tried after this one,i will try to translate it for my friends who don`t know Arabic :)



مرة كده من المرات اللى انا قعدة فيها انا و انا....كنت بقلب فى الصور اللى عندى
مكنتش صور لحد معين ........كانت صور طبيعية و صور تخليك تحلم و تروح لبعيد....بعيد اوى
افتكرت ساعتها طلب اطلب منى مرة و هو انى اسيب عينى تروح لأى صورة منهم و اسيب احساسى يتكلم
ممممممممم على قد منا بحب احساسى ياخدنى بعيد بس المرة دى كانت غير كل مرة....للحظة...
للحظة حسيت انى مش قدرة اروح هناك....كان فيه حاجة مسكانى
لقيت صوت من جوايا اول مرة أسمعه...بيقولى ....صورة؟
الصورة دى حبة الوان مع بعض.....و اللى
و اللى بيخلي الصورة تتكلم مش اللى جواها اكتر من احساسنا نفسه
احساسنا اللى مش قدرين نحسه فى الحياة.....فكل مرة عينينا تشوف صورة
احساسنا يسبنا و يطلع من جوانا و يجرى على الصورة يحاول يعيش و لو للحظة
قبل مناخده و نرجعه تانى جوانا و يفضل حزين سجين بين ضلوعنا


translation

onetime of the times i was sitting me with me
i was checking the pictures i captured
werent pictures for specific outing
just some pictures for nature that would take you so far away
i remembered when i was asked once to let my eyes surrender to any picture of them
and let go of my feeling to speak out loud
for a moment i felt i cant go there,something was holding me back
there comes a voice from deep inside me asking me.......picture?
the voice continued telling me : "the pictures is a collection of colors gathering together,
   and what makes it talk not its colors more than our feeling we feel towards it
the feeling that we cant feel in reality so everytime our eyes fall on the picture
our feeling leaves us and run so fast towards the picture trying to live there even for Only a moment
before we capture and take it back to live as a sad prisoner deep inside us

a true story quoted,close to my heart

A little girl and her father were crossing a bridge.
The father was kind of scared so he asked his little daughter:
"Sweetheart, please hold my hand so that you don't fall into the river." The little girl said:
"No, Dad. You hold my hand."
"What's the difference?" Asked the puzzled father.

"There's a big difference," replied the little girl.
"If I hold your hand and something happens to me, chances are that I may let your hand go. But if you hold my hand, I know for sure that no matter what happens, you will never let my hand go."

In any relationship, the essence of trust is not in its bind, but in its bond. So hold the hand of the person whom you love rather than expecting them to hold yours...

Blog Hop Saturday 1st September,2012 #5